Anger Not Good

It's just after lunch and I have yet to have an irrational reaction to anything today. Wow, am I changing? I have a two year old and she is certainly capable of rattling my cage. She generally has a contrary nature about her. But we have been practicing being nice and kind. Nice and kind. My neighbors upstairs have a daily ritual of sweeping their balcony free of either dirt from a planter or cat litter over the side and down onto our patio. I want to go upstairs and knock on the door and ask in a passive/aggressive manner if they are getting stuff from above them? But instead, I merely cleaned up the dirt, wiped off my new grill and let it be. A normal, daily occurrence for some, that being interaction with a neighbor, but for me, it is a dare from my sinful nature to rage and rage magnificently. I don't take the bait. Of course, there are still plenty of hours left today, so I keep on my guard.

Stillness

As I look back on the first half of this year I am thankful at the blessings that God has given me and my family and my friends and my church. And then, my mind starts to drift. I start to think about all of my missed opportunities and the hours I wasted watching Sportscenter and playing solitaire. Then I get angry at my lack of focus. I can't seem to concentrate on one thing for an extended period of time. Seriously, this is no joke. I can't stay on topic for an extended period of time. The worst thing is, this happens quite often when I am praying. I'm trying to lay my heart out and I can't keep my mind focused on Him. I know He knows me...but I just want to be able to thank Him without thinking about flight times and the movie I saw last night. "Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10 - I want to be still. I try to be still. I can't just be still. Why can't I be still?! I just want to focus on Him and not me. I want to be still. For the next five minutes, I will be still.

Road Rage

I was driving my three year old home from a field trip yesterday. A perfectly normal thing for a father to do. I was coming to a complete stop, checking the cross traffic and doing all of things a parent does that they never did pre-children. Most people take a few liberties with the traffic laws. That is until a child comes along. It's then you realize how import it is to be safe. You have their fragile, energetic little lives at ten and two. So the light turns green and these guys, these punks get up in my back seat and speed around my left. They went into oncoming traffic just to get around Captain Safety. They proceeded to burn through the next two stop signs until coming to a stop at the red. A few moments later I pulled along side of them. I shouldn't have looked. I told myself not to pay them any attention. But I did. I always do. And I had barely forced a sneer and they set to mocking me and yelling at me - like, "what are you going to do about it old man!" So I threw a rolled up napkin at the car. That's all I had. My daughter has a cold and I just wiped her nose. So I chucked it. Maybe I should have looked around for a penny or a pen or a rock - but I didn't think, I just reacted - and threw the tissue. It still could have done a lot of damage. The germs if introduced into a pristine environment could cause a stuffy nose and/or coughing. And I didn't just chuck it - I chucked it with bad intentions. Well they started yelling all the more and now satisfied that I had stimulated an appropriate reaction, I turned right and continued home. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! Why did such a careless and foreseeable act get me so agitated? What do I care how they drive? Why did it make me so angry? Anyone?